Collection of honesty

I wanna cook breakfast with you. I wanna do none of the things on the list of to dos. With you, I wanna go on a holiday. Paris, Hong Kong, Venice I don’t care,  Somewhere far away. Or a resort under an orange sky, While we count birds that fly by, There’ll be too many, but we can try. I wanna feel good with you. View the world through Greece, Feel peace. Swim into the navy blue ocean, Or float on the Dead Sea- you and me. Letting waves lead our motion. Look up to the stars, Or the bars at a long distance. The world is ours. Our existence will be consistent with this traveling. We’ll leave our footprints in the sand, Take my hand, No plans.

Baby I'm imperfect. Below this make up, are shades of blemishes before the surface. So please don’t tell me I’m beautiful. At least not yet. You haven’t met me. If I cry, and mascara dries under my eyes, If my concealer melts under the sun, If one day I wake up, think no makeup- I’m done. And you see through the scars on my face. Embrace my soul with true love and grace. If you can look through it all, See into what I really am, And if you tell me I’m beautiful even then, Then baby I’ll believe you. I’ll believe I’m beautiful.

His soul shines so brightly, His heart more precious than pure gold. T'was today that I realize, it was a loss to let him go. While I was holding some other man's hand, He watched with a torn heart but by my side he'd stand,  Ready to catch my fall cause he knew the boy was bad. Said he couldn't stand to see me sad when he found out it was over. I thought he'd be happy but he couldn't find satisfaction nor closure. He wish he could do more but he no longer desired to be the knight in my wars. "This train has left a little, I hope you understand. It wasn't the easiest thing, watching you leave with another man." We're still friends, aren't we? What more could I ask for. We can't change the past, regardless how much we deplore.  He clamped my hands between his palms and assured "I could've given you everything." But what's the point bringing up the past of something that turned into nothing.

With a frown she looks at me, As if I'm a clown drowning, In lack of anticipation of hell People are capable of giving. "It's bad" she cries to me, "They often don't mean well." Coating the stew with icing, But what's brewing in that spell? It's a merciless world she insists. But my parents rarely tell me this. So I don't intuitively turn to malevolence, What goodness in that have I missed? She mocks my naivety, watching the contuse. Ready with "I told you so" to bombard me with "I know"s. See I can enter a world you've denied access to, A land where thorns on roses don't grow. You'll debate that's not reality, But in perception 'truth' doesn't exist. Reality to each is subjective. Whatever helps us subsist. In the midst of all this- fine, I'll be your clown, In my unjaded ways I persist. So no more love for you, no more hurt again, But how much goodness in that have

因为了解到世界的广大与多元 并觉知到自我的狭隘与局限 所以允许自己不懂得他人 也允许他人不懂得自己 所以不试图凌驾他人的意志 也不轻易投身于他人制定的评价体系 这大概就是最自由的孤独 最温柔的叛逆 你将在你身边营造出一个求同存异 和而不同的小世界 淡泊而静谧

I tried to smile, like nothing's wrong. Talk like everything's perfect, Act like it's all a dream, And pretend nothing's hurting me. But in a space filled with faces, My eyes have always searched for you. And I will always look back on that dangerous night, When I gave all myself to you. Gazing into your azure shaded iris. Every day I hope those moments lasted longer. I wonder if I should cherish what we had, Or mourn about the abandoned morning. I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger. You always had a secret garden, The walls were very high... It's that feeling in my stomach, When I see that we're breaking, Witnessing butterflies die. That je ne sais quoi, Is not enough to keep us together, Yet ceases to stop the pain.  Spiteful words may hurt my feelings, But silence breaks my heart veins.The more I reflect, the less I see. The only option- let it be, Give it time. You'll go your way, I'll find mine. 

Hush baby girl. I know it still hurts. Shhhh... Pull it together. It's for your growth, my glory. You can never whether the weather. I'm not giving you what you want now, The reason, I have a plan. Something so much more divine, Believe in me now like you believed in me then. Pieces of the puzzle will fall in place I promise. I've done it before and I'll do it again, Regardless the path,  Nothing works without a journey before the end. Now my beautiful daughter, Wipe off those tears, shake off that negativity, Make use of the light I shed on you, Life itself is a festivity.

Pacing back and forth Lane of familiarity. Located amongst a foreign surrounding, Where's clarity?  Where am I?  What died? I can't see what they sell but I see what they buy. The scenery shifts as I shut my right eye. This is not what I want, This wasn't my vision. How'd this happen? How'd we come to this decision? What went wrong? Did I get swayed by constant derision? Now how will they learn my song? I can't remember if I even ever fought. Solo flights of thought.

Lately, I've been greatly blessed with kindness in those who surround me. They sooth me when I'm angered speaking words of wisdom 'let it be.' Through them I rediscovered the power of vulnerbility, I was so close to shutting the walls of my heart hoping to regain stability. Trapped in the concept of relationships, slave to devotee. I won't change I promise, all I'll do is learn. Learn when you play with fire, something's bound to get burn. It gets way out of hand, to the point of no return. But this all fades away in the end, there's no pain time can't mend. When you let someone in, there's no more need to pretend. You can stop being defensive, stop acting content. Through these connections, your soul transcends... If you don't know what I'm saying it's cause you don't comprehend. You're afraid to depend on someone who can possibly hurt you. Because once you're committed, your heart can no longer undo. Once

I see you walking around, present with an absent mind with every conversation. Conversing with no intention, so much tension in your eyes. You don't look any wiser that's a fucking ugly smize. Your smile is just a pile of pain painted with disguise. As if anyone's judging, you keep trying so damn hard, Your cheesy lines ain't impressing no one, Those ain't no avant garde. You keep flirting like we all your bitches try to take us to your back yard. Fondling hair, rubbing backs like some big shot in a brothel. Trying to sell your dick insisting it tastes like belgium waffle. Filthy, honey we know inside you're ugly and empty. Yet it's always early for pity when you play games so dirty Making girls fall for you like a slut, plenty. They fall, they tell then you're like what the fuck? I'm not ready for a relo honey I was just mucking about. Please don't make a big deal no point you cry and pout. In a month it was Anna, then Louise, M

Don't make me do everything, as if you're fucking roman king. You can suck your own dick- jack, I don't owe you anything. Sometimes you make me wonder why the fuck you're so thick. No one told you to be nice, ain't mean you gotta be a prick. And it's true we mimic you behind you, all the gay shit that you do. You ain't looking surprised now that I told you guess your momma did too. I'm not apologizing rhyme for all the shit you put me through. Feel free, hire a lawyer, sue me if you got to. You said you loved me, I believed it for a second but we both know it ain't true. I'm done with all the boohoos, done with this catastrophe. You served me poisoned honey thank fuck I have the remedy. Laugh at me all you want, we'll see who gets faster to the top. Maybe you have the edge now but it bout to be a scary drop. When you be driving Honda, bitch I be rolling Maserati. You're cycling shit I'm parking my Annaliese to the boat q

How bout a round of applause and a standing ovation. Boy you've really been amazing. The choice of words and tactics you were using deserves solid praising. Fooled me. In my weakest moments I failed to see, all your plan As and plan Bs.  Now you want a half assed relationship, nah sorry honey. I don't have time to meddle in child's play. Such a typical teen romance story, hot headed and risque. You say you've more experience with love but of what quality are they? One night stands, sex buddies. What's it adequate to? You told me you changed, I stayed the same, naive- forgetting old habits die hard it's true.  I'm about done with your yabadeesyabadoos. I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude. So if this is your best then you're best really won't do. *Songspiration: Inspired by Rihanna's - Take a bow 

Here we go again- Another heartbreak. How much longer can I fake that I'm okay, that I have hope in something that just plays my emotions and sways my mood to painful extremities. Stop giving me cupid's potion it's poison. Pointless. I'm all about holding faith, But enough is enough I'm so done with it. 'Babe you're so pretty.' But pretty don't do shit. They say the world's real small, the world's the way you perceive it, So I decided to perceive my world with you. But they never told me what perceptions do. Perception makes you a fool, you see things in pink when they're in reality blue. You held me with affection and sincerity, Then you left and let things be, where's the clarity. Finally I find a keeper but he doesn't keep me.

There's so much to share, too little time. All at once takes away all the beauty, Maybe this is how it's meant to be. He'll know and feel love just not through me. I wish, If I could I'd show him so patiently. I'll wrap his arms to my waist to break the uncertainty. Damn all these blurred lines, I'd rather he be mine. But that's all fantasy, a silent reverie of the mind.  It's arduous not to touch him, not to give into one embrace.  He never said those important words, But it doesn't matter it's always been present in his presence, or absence nonetheless. There has never been such consistency, never been so admired. Treats and feeds me like a real lady or a queen. And when I'm not beautiful, he sees a higher beauty. Something natural, something even I don't see. Like a king with wings that protect me, His bona fide tenderness play songs strumming on heartstrings. Yet there's no way he can hold me, Too soon I'll

Blessed, the journey strides onwards. Yet, eminently tainted with doubt. 'Stop, you're on the wrong path.' The echoing voice shadows the easy way out. Sisyphean days, where's the pleasure? The upward hill translates to a steep climb, Roads closed off, leaving a rocky baleful walk. When it's simply a sinister game of the mind. Sometimes blessed are the blinds, Who see no fear ahead, no obstacles. Led purely by the leap of faith. Through much sweat, no suspicion and little struggle. Make it through the mental dubiety, Opaque skies and physical storms. And with this admirable strength, Watch life give in to your charm.

My wrists feel a little naked, light as a feather, clear as a vein, The very person that locked me up released me of my chains. He removed the mask over my face, I can breathe and see again. My heart stopped bleeding from gentle stitches, there's no more pain. I can think clearly and make sense, the mind's no longer insane. There's no more sadness no more left to complain. There's no more hurt I tried so hard to contain. There's no more 'It's all okay' tough girl to maintain. There's no more lying to myself 'on behalf of him' to explain, No more 'try to look beautiful', it's perfectly good enough to be plain. There was a freedom I refrained too long to regain, Now I'm taking the fast lane to some fabulous freedom, And on the way to recovery I'll sure sing in the rain.

Yes? Can I help you? What you looking at? Is there something on my shirt? What you scowling at? Can't be the color of my skin? Thought we're way through with that. It's the 21st century honey, Let's drop the tit for tat. We're all just people, Difference is overrated. What's the use in your hatred? Stop frowning, your wrinkles speak energy wasted. Don't take side with Satan. Can't you see the beauty in the diversity fated? Color is culture translated. It's creation of greatness. Together as one, no one's graded. In a never ending circle somehow we're related. Be persuaded in God we're all celebrated.

I've never loved a man who stopped loving me back, So forgive me please if I seem too taken aback.  I sense your attempts at hiding true feelings away, But there's so much said from the things you don't say. There's no one to blame when the feelings go wrong, Sometimes fate just won't let two belong. Now I'm so sick of songs, so tired of tears, Done with wishing your heart was still here. It was a beautiful fairtytale but too short, too soon. Felt like one second ago I was still over the moon. All of a sudden the stars starting burning and fell to the earth, Will we still fight for what this is worth? * Songspiration : A little activity where the stimulus were lyrics from random song chosen by a friend . ( So sick by Neyo. )

Explosive Chaos - Natalie Holland A complex background, nonsensical belonging. An unexpected series of event, headless direction. A unpredictable structure- mad collision of colors. An incomprehensible shape, jumbled undecided patterns. An uneven texture, yet a beautiful mess, Living in explosive chaos.

Wandering through the streets, Where everything's to be seen. I'm walking with no direction, Skipping through skies blue and grasses green. Where ever the sun is shining. I'll follow where the flowers bow, I'll trace a shy butterfly, Because when then, if not now?    I don't have a destination, I'm open to every journey, There's no too late for discovery, Any hour is early. So show me all the summers, Take me to every frost. Not all those who wander, can be considered lost.

From your eyes I realize, What I offer you is still little to keep you satisfied. Cause we take turns to spin 180 degrees, Let’s not kiss if we’re uncertain please. We're two ordinary but too different people.  Our roads were never parallel. While we scramble out of each other’s lives, We dive deeper into a tangled mess. The mess you leave, some day I break free… Don't travel the road of reminiscence with me, And walk through the valley of our memories. When you’ve found true happiness, the one you adore, The one you’d call, care, cry, stand and speak for, I won’t have to reply the midnight texts anymore When your heart finds a home to lay rest, I'll confess in lakes of loneliness.

All of a sudden I'm growing so fast, Far away from home, independent at last. The days seem endless and so repetitive. And the competitive side of me, Refuses to let tears hit the floor... Father said sweat is what success demands for. Overwhelmed by high expectations, Amazing is standard - no congratulations given. Every day such a battle in attempting to thrive, I'm surviving but I long to be alive.

I know the game played, feel free to cry me a river. Promises are like babies, easy to make, hard to deliver. Issuing cheques from the mouth don’t cost anything… That's why you spit on the beauty that promises bring. A million times repeated and I never thought to be wise, And realize your words are just files and piles of lies. Again you’ll blow it off, pretending to know my thoughts, But it’s really the little things to me that mean an awful lot. You’ll make new promises and speak what I wish to hear, Yet slowly but surely, they’ll somehow disappear. Stop in your attempts to fool me, I’m no longer a child. Start clearing the ‘I promise...’ illusions you’ve compiled.

Your blue eyes stare at me with nothing less than sincerity, Your sugar coated words got me believing in me. Your kisses so soft and tender, it takes a million to suffice. Your touch lingers around my body, I'd pay any price, To spend time and understand you... Let your guards down and make you a better man, Like the way you effortlessly extract the goodness within me. You remember all the abstracts- shuffle my muffles, And fit them together like a jigsaw puzzle. What started off as a flirting flame had no one to blame. Sparks fly and we've become something real, The attraction we feel, so strong and enchanting... In games there is always a loser but to me you're not a game. What is it you perceive? a sea of ecstasy, a world of fantasy, a sense of majesty? Do you do it to just relax, release, feel relief and set yourself free? When you hold me, are you alive ? Are you feeling me or is it just a touch? Do you care or am I asking too much? Are you clo

To my one and only, 2013 won't be perfect without your presence. Why do you come back for a day, steal my heart away then leave for months of absence? 4 years since we first met and I know it was fate, But life isn't great enough to create perfect lovers without much waiting. So I'm debating... whether I'm too naive and unrealistic, To wait another 4 years to be with you. I want to love someone else but I don't know how to. That's the easy way out, I could just move on... But what about the promise we had agreed upon? The little moments of me being under your umbrella, In the wrap of your arm, I become Cinderella with a prince. And your soft words prints deep in my heart despite distance keeping us apart. How can I lie to myself when you've always been the one I want to run to. So can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now to clear all the fears and tears I've had When the